Day 2: Make A Resolution to “Stop Digging” (Part 2)

Image by Kevin McShane via Flickr

Why We Spend

We all dole out cash for things we need, such as food, clothing and shelter. But we also buy plenty of things just because we want them or because we feel: “I deserve it.” After all, we all work hard for our money. So what’s the big deal about splurging every once in a while, right? Well, the big deal is that if you’re serious about getting out of a financial pit, your splurging days are over – at least for now.

You must also be careful of spending solely to impress others, like buying luxury cars or fancy jewelry just for show. Think about that for a minute. How many people do you know really just spend to show off the latest, the so-called best, or the most fashionable this or that? What good is having a Lexus or a Mercedes if you’re still renting and don’t own your own home? And whom are you really kidding if you’re buying Gucci and Prada, yet you still worry about your credit card getting declined?

Other times, people spend simply because they’re angry, depressed or bored. Maybe you just had an argument with your man – and ladies you know if I’m talking to you – and because he ticked you off, all of a sudden you’re in the mall. Or perhaps a boss is frustrating you on the job, or a co-worker is getting on your nerves. So what do you do? You start spending as a temporary, quick fix to feel better. Try your best to avoid “retail therapy.” That’s when you start purchasing cosmetics or an expensive new pair of shoes (even though you have tons of each at home) in an effort to give yourself an emotional pick-me-up.

Make a point to avoid spending out of habit, too. Many of us literally spend money on habits – things like cigarettes or alcohol. If you’ve got such a habit, realize that it could be costing you your fiscal and physical health. Even those habitual patterns that aren’t detrimental to our bodies might still be harmful to our bank accounts. For instance, I know many women who go to the hair salon, or get regular manicures and pedicures, mainly out of habit. They’ve always done it, it’s routine to them, and practically nothing on God’s green earth is going to stop them from hitting the salons week after week after week.

Now don’t get me wrong. I like to look as nice and as put together as the next woman. But my point is that if you’re struggling to pay your bills, can you really afford to fork over $50 a week (or whatever you might be paying) for the luxury of “beautifying” yourself? Personally, I don’t think it’s really worth it to look the part of “the fabulous diva” on the outside, when on the inside you’re stressed out and feeling more like “the fake debtor” because everybody thinks you’ve got it all together, but deep down, you know the scary truth about your situation.

There’s one other point about this subject that is worth addressing, in case you’re thinking: “Honey, getting my hair and nails done, that’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity!” I’d like you to at least consider another perspective about certain things that we spend money on. Read the advice contained in Day 16 for some insights about the ways we surrender our money on things that we might think are “necessities,” but others consider “luxuries,” “frivolous,” or “downright wasteful.”

By now some of you may be thinking: Darn! Is there anything I can spend on? And the answer is: Of course there is. Obviously you should feel free to spend money on the things you need. No one is suggesting that you walk around unclothed, without proper shelter or hungry. People will often say, “Lynnette, I also need a car – I have to get to work.” To which I answer, “Yes, you need a car, but does it really have to be a brand new one or a $50,000 vehicle?” Just live within your means and be reasonable in your spending – even when buying the things you need.

You can, and also should, spend to help others — i.e. to aid your family, church or a favorite charity — when you can afford to do so. And it’s even Okay to open your wallet to buy, have or do what you want (think art lessons, graduate school or travel) in order to improve your quality of life, express your values, or invest in yourself or family members.

But I’ve discovered that a lot of us spend for the wrong reasons. Sometimes people spend to exert power and control over others: as when parents tell their high school or college-age children: “I’ll buy you XYZ, but only if you do what I say, or go to the school I choose,” etc. Men (and women) have also been known to use money as a way to keep their significant others in check; or they buy them gifts in a misguided effort to secure the other party’s love and affection – or even to get out of the doghouse after an argument or some exhibition of “bad” behavior. All of this crazy spending must cease immediately.

Next – Day 2 Make a resolution to “stop digging.” (Part 3)